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malcontent random thoughts� - January 2010
01.28.2010: The Impossibility of Shitting One's Self out of their own Eye Sockets
(ap) - "I don't if that's the way
it was or if it was my eyes shitting me..." I Know I shouldn't have Thought
it, but I did when that was said to me... And I'm a VERY visual Mind... Some
Modern Artwork forthcoming?...
01.25.2010: A Short Joke that Fails
(ap) - You're so Short you gotta use a Phone Book to sit on the Toilet!... That doesn't make any Gah-Damn Sense!
01.20.2010: What just Dropped?... Oh, your
Cookies.
(ap) - Got a pile of "cookies" at my
feet at about 3 in the AM this morning... My precious Daughter left her Bedroom,
passed her Brother's room, the Playroom... the BATHROOM... The Living Room...
Her Mom's side of the bed, the fireplace and finally around to my side...
She "always" comes to me first because she Loves me most!... Actually, I think
this was one of the rare times the Wife didn't fret about her coming to me
first.
I wasn't sure if she had knocked something off of my nightstand, because it
sounded like a glass fell... It wasn't... It was about a 3 foot long pile of
yack... Caused me flashbacks to being 8 years old and watching the Exorcist by
myself after midnight.
You know, they never illustrate the clean-up in the movies regarding the gut
cheese... Nor can a movie give you the wonderful and REAL feeling of vomit
between your toes.
I am fairly sure that this pile came out in one projection and landed evenly as
a long pile� It�s the only way it could have to sound like a singular object
hitting the ground.
If only I had video� Talk about a video that could go viral!
01.19.2010: Damn, that Kids got a Big Head!
(ap) - So my Son has a Dome that�s in the 97th Percentile... It�s True. We thought the things that appeared to be flying around his head were fleas, but when we went to the Pediatrician yesterday they said his Head has a Gravitational Pull, and that those were objects that were small enough to get caught up in his Head�s Orbit... You can�t Imagine how Happy we were that we weren�t going to have to Treat the house for fleas!
01.12.2010: Four-Year-Olds have a Language of their own
(ap) - "If I hold it up it'll just bleed even more hurter..." :( My Daughter about her ouchy... That wasn't bleeding. ;)
01.06.2010: Hey-yo!, Cracker!
(ap) - Hey-yo!, Cracker!... The phone is "hey-yo" to my 18-month-old Son... He probably points at any give phone in any given day and says "hey-yo" just about as many times as he asks, "cacker?"... Which means "cracker"... And no, he's not replacing "Mommy" and "Daddy" with that word, he's asking for a cracker! ;)
peace,
tha malcontent
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tha malcontent)
Don't do what you're polled to do!�
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