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malcontent random thoughts� - May 2008
05.30.2008: Seriously, is it already June 08?
(ap) - Two-Thousand-Eight... It doesn't Seem Real... Anyone else Wondering about Reality at this Point?... When's the other Shoe going to Drop?... You Know it's going to... Are you Prepared? Be a Good Boy Scout and get Prepared. Well, you Better... June 2008... Isn't... that... Far... Away.
05.29.2008: The Evolution of a lil girl's New Room
So Sad...
What?... New Room?...
Presto!...
05.29.2008 - In Bowling... There's a Fine Line
between Being Too Drunk and Not quite Drunk Enough...
(ap) - Such an Event happened for me
in my Drynking League a Couple of Years ago when I was One Ball Short of a Dutch
200.
It is for this Reason that the Serious Bowler Knows how to Pace his Poison.
Obviously I am Not a Serious Bowler.
A Bierious Souler?... Yep.
05.24.2008 - One Spaniard's Take
(ap) -
BREAKING!: America's Soup Lines Exposed! Yes! That
so kicks ass! I can tell you paid attention in Journalism class. My favorite
thing about Jism 101, as I like to call it, was always the high concentration of
waiting-to-justify-getting-banged-lesbians. Hence, talk about last weeks rally,
throw in a few catch phrases, and bam! You�re in like swimwear. After
enlightening many-a-lesbian to my patented bisexual-threesome-shroomfest, I went
on to further introspect into their unique yet simplistic wiring schema and
found that anyone with a bumper sticker, a blender, and the willingness to exist
without a purpose in life, could produce an ultra effective panty-dropper of
their very own. Keep in mind these two key rules; Rule number 1: Manipulate all
five senses while convincing them that their professor would approve of their
actions and that their parents would not. Rule number 2: You are a woman trapped
in a man�s body and you just happen to have a penis. It�s really that simple!
For example, I call this one the �Cocopost Quickdraw� Try it out! Step 1) Mix
equal parts compost and coco and place in both back pockets. 2) Put on a shirt
that says �Boy Toy�, white jeans and a pink fuzzy belt buckle. 3) After not
bathing for several days approach your targets while singing �I�m the
kind-a-bitch that you want to get with, I�m the kind-a-bitch that you want to
get with�. 4) Arch your back, cross both arms behind you and place your index
fingers in opposite back pockets. 5) Say �I need help moving my bed�it�s huge�.
6) As they attempt to answer, place one Cocopost covered finger in each of their
mouths. 7) As they suckle with sleepy eyes and gyrating hips, begin walking
backwards toward your crib�yada yada yada you get the picture. Note: Create a
mini noose out of hemp, secure them to your bed via their big toe, throw on a
Peaches album, slip out the back, roundup two more, and so on and so on. You do
the math! - One Bacadeus random thought
05.22.2008 - Several Species of Large Drunken Mammals Gathered Together in a Planetarium and Grooving with some Schnapps
(ap) - Damn... 20 Years have got
Behind me... Back in the Day we used to go to the Floyd Laser Shows @ Gates and
Spirit a Flask or (2) of Schnapps with us for the Experience.
Every time I Taste anything Peach, I Think of Peachtree and the 80's... And of
course, Spanish Correspondent One Bacadeus and Larios Puke Drunk on a Bathroom
Floor at a Baptist Academy House Party.
1,000 Word Essays on the Evils of Drynking are Fun and are also Excellent
Vehicles for Youthful Sarcasm and Exposure of Inherent Institutional and
Religiously Based Hypocrisies and Inconsistencies.
Good Times.
05.21.2008 - Walgreen's Cafe Lying Bastard
(ap) - Years ago when the North
Valley Mall was still a Mall, there was a Walgreen's that had an Attached
Restaurant next to it and One Time my Mom, Sister-in-Law and I were eating there
and I was Complaining about not getting this Hot Wheel I wanted, and the guy who
was Serving us, Flirting with my Sister-in-Law, Thinking I was her Kid, Offered
to buy it for me if I could Eat some amount of Tacos, 4 or 6, I don't remember
now... I did, and he Hedged and said the Next Time we came in he would Buy it
for me... Never Happened... If I ever Meet him, I'll Sock him in his Lying
Mouth...
And that Incident Happened 30 Years ago... Obsessive?... And then some.
05.18.2008 - Closeted Stoner @ Heart
I still Carry a Hack... Occassionally I Shock a Gaggle of Young Stoners and Jump into a Circle with them and Show them how it's Done.
05.14.2008: It's Taken me Half a Month, but I Had an Idea about Porn!
(ap) - The CliMAX Theater�... Giant Screens!... 3D Action!... Drynks and Strippers Serving!
BRILLIANT!...
05.01.2008:
May Day!... May Day!... Denver's Snowing it's Pants!
(ap) - Damn it if it's not Snowing in
D-Town on May Day!...
^My Office...
^My Wife's Office...
peace,
tha malcontent
(All commentary included on this website is the opinion of tha malcontent and is
based in the Truth. No Liberals, Marxists, Stalinists, Socialists,
Communists or DemocRATS were harmed in the making of this website, I promise!
-
tha malcontent)
Don't do what you're polled to do!�
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